THE ART OF SHOE THROWING

Harish Bhat explores the finer aspects of the ‘art’ of shoe-throwing. The forgotten art of shoe-throwing has seen a dramatic revival. In earlier days, shoes were thrown after newlyweds for good luck. Thereafter, Nikita Kruschev taught us that throwing and banging shoes on the high table at the United Nations produces a remarkable effect. Imelda Marcos may have never thrown a shoe herself, but she owned hundreds of glorious pairs, and must have collected many more as her countrymen threw shoes at her in anger. Like all art forms, shoe-throwing has also evolved. In recent times, shoes have been thrown at US president George W Bush and India's homeland security minister P Chidambaram and other well-heeled personalities. For all aspiring practitioners of this splendid art form, here are some words of advice. Choose your shoe prudently. It is best to throw a shoe that you don’t really want. Alternatively, you could choose to throw your wife’s shoes: more choice there. The gender of the shoe is not really important, and indeed a good high heel can send a very potent message. You must practice the throw several times in advance — the idea is not to hit the target, but to just miss. My time-tested formula — grasp the shoe firmly, rotate your arm in a wide sweeping arc, sight the target and throw aiming exactly 17 inches to the left. If you are targeting a politician, increase this gap to 80 inches or more: they are known for constantly shifting positions. Throw both shoes. After all, what can you hope to achieve with the second residual shoe once the first has been taken away by the authorities? You could even throw your neighbour’s shoe if you wish. This requires a quick bending action and a sleepy shoe-clad neighbour. And finally, dont throw shoes for flimsy reasons as getting rid of your old shoes. Every shoe, however smelly or torn, must be thrown only for a great and noble cause